Signs in the Rearview Mirror - blog tour

BLOG TOUR

Signs in the Rearview Mirror: Leaving A Toxic Relationship Behind

What kind of person ends up in a toxic relationship? And why does she stay? This searingly honest novel answers both those questions head-on. Coming out of a failing marriage, Kelly turns to Gabe out of fear of being alone. Her gradual slide into danger is at once terrifying and inevitable, and the steps she takes to get out of it will both inspire and offer hope.

Purchase Link

Amazon UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Signs-Rearview-Mirror-Leaving-Relationship/dp/1948613018/

Amazon US - https://www.amazon.com/Signs-Rearview-Mirror-Leaving-Relationship/dp/1948613018/

Author Bio – Boston born and raised, Kelly now makes her home in Austin with her three sons and one amazing Giant Schnauzer Bullseye. Kelly has written for Huffington Post, blogs at Thoughts Becoming Words, and hosts a podcast, Lets Get Wicked Deep.

Social Media Links – https://www.facebook.com/kellye95/

https://twitter.com/kellys_author

Cheekypee reads and reviews is delighted to share a guest post with you.....

 

Since recovering from my toxic relationship, I have started to date again. Dating in itself is not so easy, but throw in PTSD, trust issues, and everything in between, dating can be overwhelming. Even after recovering from our past relationships, we still have a fear, no matter how small, of falling into the same trap again. We fear that the handsome man sitting across from us is wearing a mask that will fall off in about four weeks time. But what do we do? Stay home? Not date? Wait for Amazon to add eligible men to their Prime? Nah. We have healed. We are ready to live again and share our lives with someone. Not just anyone, but someone. So we get on apps. We swipe. We cross our fingers and agree to meet the man on the other use of screen. For some, like myself, we cancel and hide at first. For others we build walls as we talk to someone in a restaurant and self sabotage because it is scary. But then it happens. With the help of our friends and supportive family and for some the help of our therapists we go. We show up. We get in our cars with one destination in mind and we date. When you get to this point, and I promise you, you will,l you have to be prepared. You can't go into it with the idea that all guys or all girls are the same. The person sitting across from you is not your ex. This person found you attractive and wants to get to know you more. So let them. But before you get to this place, sitting happily across from a potential mate, I would suggest you follow a few simple rules.

 

1. Never meet up someone you have met online until AFTER you have had a phone conversation. Look at the phone call as sort of your “coffee date”. If you have good dialogue and it seems like a good connection, go ahead and make plans for the first date. If you have the call and there is no connection between the two of you, skip the date. To ensure you never have a bad first date, make the call.

2. Pick a place that is open and public. Nothing too crazy like a nightclub, but a day date at a local restaurant, or coffee shop for the first meeting. Put a time limit on the date. Let them know at 5:30 you have to meet your friend for XYZ reason. That way if it goes down hill, you have an out. If it's going well, fake call your friend and extend the date.

 

OK now that you're on your date, ask questions. Of course don't ask questions as if its test, but there are few questions to ask that will let you know what kind of a person you may be dealing with.

 

1. How did your last relationship end?

With this question, listen carefully to the answers. If

You: How did your last relationship end?

Date: Oh my ex was too crazy for me. He/she wa sa true psycho. I did everything for him/her and they constantly put me down, called me names. I was never good enough.

 

This person is a red flag! Anyone who can’t take responsibility for any part of a relationship ending, may not be someone you want to date.

You: How did your last relationship end?

Date: It was a rough ending. For me, I feel I could have tried harder or done more. We both should have done XYZ

This is a person you can take accountability. If you are with someone and they have bad things to say about their ex, stay clear of that person.

 

2. Do you like to travel? Do you have a passport? This question may seem odd, but keep in mind people who owe back child support and some convicted felons can't get a passport. If this person owes child support, stay clear. Not all felons are bad people. Some get caught up and turn their lives around,but pay attention to why they may have been in that situation.

 

With those two questions you will find out alot about the person you are on a date with. For me, I pay attention to so much. Is he checking his phone? Eye contact? Able to hold a conversation? How my body is reacting. If I feel something is off, its because it usually is. When you're ready, put yourself out there, but be cautious!!!

 

Always Be Brave!!