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SYNOPSIS - LOVE ALWAYS, KATE
KATE BROWDY is a survivor. Seven years of battling leukemia earns her the title. Now, she’s out of remission for the third time, and sinks into her diary for emotional support. In it, she can be honest. Herself. Free.
This time, though, instead of just her disease, she writes about DAMIAN LOWELL. Damian with his blond hair and ocean-blue eyes. Damian with his dimples flashing her at every opportunity. Damian with his own pain he can’t seem to deal with. Damian—her doctor’s son.
Warned by her nurse to stay away from him because he’s falling apart, Kate sees him differently. Just how differently, she’s not sure, until he pulls her into a hospital bathroom and shaves off all her hair to save her pain of it falling out little by little. It’s then she begins to realize she may be falling for Damian Lowell.
When she finds him in the hospital drunk and screaming at his father, she learns more about his past and why he is the way he is. She learns about his brother, his mother, and the father who’s still grieving. And so is Damian—with alcohol and some girl whose bra Kate finds in his bedroom.
Now Kate doesn’t know where she stands. Is she being played? But how can he kiss her like that, look at her like that, and not feel what she did?
After texts and flowers and an invitation to his house, Kate begins see him—really see him.
And that’s when she gets sick, and the headaches begin. Thanks to the high doses of chemo, her immune system is worthless. With Damian by her side, she begins to fade into blackness.
Kate awakes in the middle of the night eight days later. Damian’s asleep, his head resting on her stomach. She moves, and he wakes up, telling her she’s in the hospital. The virus has run its course, and soon she can go home.
But the headaches don’t stop. That side effect continues to linger.
After Kate loses a bet, Damian treats her to a romantic Christmas dinner. There’s dinner and dancing, and Kate suddenly realizes she loves him. As the snow begins to fall outside, blanketing the city, Damian takes her to his room. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to lose her virginity to him, but he moves slow. In the end, Damian can’t do it, something holds him back.
The next morning, he gives Kate his journal, the one he’s been keeping since she showed him her diary—not the contents, of course, that’s too personal. Reluctantly, she takes his journal and tells herself she won’t read it.
She wants him to just tell her what’s wrong, what’s inside, but he can’t. He says she needs to read it. Their argument heats up, and Damian leaves her to cry by herself. He avoids her in the next days, and she knows it’s over. When she sees him at the hospital, it hurts.
Damian calls that evening, and Kate sounds off. Headache. He races over to hold her as the pain overtakes her.
The next morning, Kate watches the sunrise with Damian. Yes, she still loves him. They spend Christmas together baking cookies, watching movies, and making out on the sofa. In the mirror, Kate notices how her clothes are hanging off her, and her ribs are showing more than usual. More chemo side effects.
After Christmas, her doctor does a full work-up. Kate already knows, but when the results come back confirming her suspicions that the chemo isn’t working, and the cancer has made its way into her organs, she can’t bring herself to tell Damian. At least, not right away.
Excerpt
Damian sighed and adjusted his nametag. “I’m the son of Jackson Lowell, Doctor Extraordinaire. That means I have a lot of time to myself. I play the guitar. Write music. I’ve beaten every Assassin’s Creed game. And I don’t live up to my father’s expectations. Hell, I don’t know if I live up to anyone’s expectations.”
“I’m sure your dad just wants you to be happy.”
Damian grunted. “Whose definition of happy? His? Mine?” His eyebrows rose. “Yours?”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t happy only have one definition?”
“Does it? Are you happy?”
I thought about it for a few moments. I had beaten my disease twice before, and I was determined to do it again. More than anything, I was happy just to be alive. “Yeah, I am.”
His eyes narrowed. “Having a tube sticking out of your chest, being hooked up to toxic drugs, getting sick—that makes you happy?”
“Oh, well, no. But…”
“Not that easy, is it?” The edge in his voice pricked at me. I couldn’t tell if he was talking about me or himself.
“The outcome of—”
“You don’t know the outcome.” He sounded angry, his eyes blazing. “You only hope it will make you happy. When it might kill you. That’s reality.”
I pulled my lips tight. “True, but it makes my parents happy to see me fight.”
“Bullshit. They’re not happy having a daughter who has to battle cancer. And if you die, well, how can they be happy about that?”
“If—”
Damian cut me off. “Yeah. If. So much is based on that word, and there are no fucking guarantees attached to it. What makes you happy now may be what destroys you later. Or those you love. Then what? Sometimes, being happy isn’t worth the risk.”
“And sometimes it is,” I said quietly.
Damian brightened again, offering a slight smile. “See what I mean? Nothing in this shithole life is easy.”
“Just because it’s not easy, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.”
“So tell me then, is it worth it?” His blue eyes searched mine. “Worth all the time in this place?”
Thank you!!
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